Fate II.

Unexpected things happen during the most unexpected times. It tends to leave you all baffled up and confused in your own realm. Disappointments after disappointments.. Some things are just out of your reach in order for you to fix it. 

 So yes, the past week has been.. surprisingly sad. Morbid. Depressing. And all of the other synonyms of sad you can think of right now. I have been emotionally distracted by everything around me, everything. From immense hopes and comments given by important individuals, to a level of confident that you just know that you're in reach of something that you've been yearning for, to being miserable on not achieving it in the end. I was on the verge of losing hope and just wanting to blindly accept everything. The ultimate question of all of these unfortunate events that has been bugging me was.. where did I go wrong? What is it that I did that eventually made everything end up the way it is now? I've even questioned myself on my grades and whatnot. And how my grades and the CGPA I've worked extremely hard for was meaningless, as if everything I've done was just a complete waste. I was obviously dwelled in a deep pool of pessimist thoughts for a while. But a pang of realisation woke me up from my own made up nightmare.. maybe, just maybe Allah wants to see how strong I was in confronting and handling these situations. How I can bear with these occurrences and just instill a little bit of patience in enduring a whole lump sum of it during Ramadhan. How I react to these situations.. Do I just linger around moaning and crying day in day out as if a fairy godmother will just emerge out of thin air and redo everything to the way I wanted it to be, or do I make an effort in trying to fix the situation. Or maybe He wants me to place all of my hopes onto Him, instead of placing hopes onto individuals who I think may have the power to make a difference in this situation. Or maybe I haven't been as close to Him as He wanted me to be previously and this situation has brought me closer to Him.. The maybes are endless. I just hope despite of everything that is happening, I'll rise to be a better person in the end. A stronger one. But at the end of the day, I just need to have some faith (maybe a lot really) and place my entire trust on Allah. Only Him.